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  • Sinem Soydar

It is an ordinary day and I am turning 40!


Today is 8th of June 2020; there are so many things going on around me, around all of us. Everything is so surreal, most of us even couldn’t imagine these things can even happen, but as we can all see, this is our reality now.

In the middle of the chaos -not complaining- this Monday is an ordinary day and it’s my birthday, yay!

I turned 40! OMG

I am grateful for the life I have and all the things happen to me. I’ve learned, witnessed a lot. And I know there is more to come. As in Rumi’s words, I was raw, I needed to be cooked, long way to go being burnt! (Original quote: “The result of my life is no more than three words: I was raw; I have been cooked, I was burnt.” Rumi)

Through this writing, I’ve wanted to share a list of things I learned in my personal, professional and social life. The things I wished to know when I was 20 or 30. The things I know but still struggle to practice in my life. This writing is a birthday gift to myself. Wish to remember it when I turn 80!

I’d appreciate if you read my list — 40 things I learned in my 40 years — and share your comments on it. Think it is a virtual birthday party for me :)

Enjoy and thank you for coming to my parteee, hahaha! (Theme song: 50 Cent In da Club)Live the day as it’s your last and use the power of “now.”

· Be aware of yourself! Look, see and discover who you are, what you need! You’re your teacher!

· I know it is cliché but 100% true; happiness is a choice! Make your good choices!

· Ask yourself what you want. The answer might change in decades; don’t worry. It is the beauty of life.

· Believe in karma, what goes around comes around (tested!)

· Remember, the truth is never simple.

· First, love yourself and please forgive yourself.

· Don’t expect too much! It’s always better to feel surprised than to feel disappointed.

· Don’t look yourself through the eyes and perspective of the other. Be the best version of yourself, and it is enough.

· Learn from the past but do not go back there, keep walking.

· Don’t personalize everything you hear.

· Don’t afraid to be honest to yourself; honesty clears the air sooner or later.

· Be aware of your emotions, but don’t make emotional decisions.

· Remember to be grateful for the breath you take! Pray in your own beliefs; it will make you feel better.

· Eat simple; eat your dinners early!

· Do care yourself; don’t wait for someone to take care of you, acknowledge your importance.

· Create your own routines, walk in nature, meditate, feel the joy of life.

· Sometimes there are things we cannot change; find your inner power to accept them. See the change as the opportunity to evolve.

· Have a hobby, search for one. It’s never too late to be a better self.

· Caring a living being is one of the hardest roles in this life. Don’t be harsh to yourself; do your best with love.

· There is a difference between resilience and patience, be aware of what stage you are in.

· Life is a journey, you’re the driver and the passenger at the same time. Enjoy the view and the ride

· Put sun cream always ( your skin is your most expensive dress)

· Keep music in your life! Tune your “wake up playlist,” boost your mood!

· Talk to yourself. It doesn’t mean you are lunatic.

· Invent your best hug! Mine is family hug :) With my son and husband — we cuddle and share our loves!

· Walk, Run, Jump! Do something to be active and get your free dopamine and serotonin.

· Practice to change your perspective for particular topics; try to walk in others’ shoes. Be empathetic!

· Keep in mind, most of the carrier success based on teamwork. Be a good mate; think about when you have to step up or down.

· Don’t limit yourself with the barriers that you put! Self-motivation is the key to every success. If you don’t feel good, go to a mirror at smile at yourself! I mean it, do it now!

· Some decisions need to sleep on it; do not make impulsive actions.

· Business life is a marathon, use your energy wisely, make your investment to yourself and your relationships.

· Whatever the role you fill in (even you don’t like) do the best you can, add your value to make the job done, you never know what comes next.

· Find a mentor/mentors to inspire you for your big dreams, new plans. Try a new way of mentoring like “reverse mentoring.”

· Take notes! You never know when the good ideas will come. Use technology, like speech to text or voice memos, to make things easier for you.

· There is a chain reaction in the teams, don’t get enough with doing your best, help others to do their best. Real success is a collective effort.

· A second opinion never hurts, not only in medicine but also in professional life

· Everybody’s learning method is different; listening to a podcast, taking notes while reading, interactive courses, etc. Find the most convenient one for yourself; invest in yourself.

· When you start to evaluate a new idea/project: before listing the impediments, first assess the potential if it is scalable and sustainable.

· Try to be a good person! If you are good at home, you’ll be good at school and the office. And keep in mind; goodness is contagious.

Stay Safe!

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